Ode to Gluten

Just about anything can become fascinating.

Our lives become fascinating when we experience them fully, and share our experiences with others.

Here’s a little poem I wrote about what’s been fascinating me lately…

Ode to Gluten

Oh my beloved Cinnabon,
how I miss thee,
Now that I must eat
All my food gluten-free.

Goodbye Pizza Hut, Auntie Anne’s,
and pastry with brie,
Soy sauce and sushi,
I was your sworn devotee.

Al dente pasta,
and a hot Krispy Kreme spree,
Warm cookies made with chips
From chocolate Nestlé.

Oh, how I ate those with gusto,
My digestion carefree.
These delights made my tummy dance
a happy “yippee!”

Yet I began to wake in the morning
dragging oh so listlessly;
I moved through the day
Like a bloated manatee.

Finally, my doctor informed me
of a gluten allergy,
And now I understand why I’d run to the bathroom
A.S.A.P.

Wheat, I kiss you goodbye,
and sip herbal tea.
I’m learning new food rules…
(Who knew to avoid barley??)

Yes I’m fascinated by you, dear gluten,
And your whole grain family tree,
But I must abolish you from my diet
And say farewell, mon ami.

Now I resist my fascination
of the bread basket potpourri,
Because I finally realized this fascination
Comes with a discomfort guarantee.

At last, I’m clear-headed enough
to write this decree.
And share with you this
gastro-jubilee.

Now it’s clear that Italian and Chinese food
with my stomach disagree.
The proof’s in the pudding
(though that pudding’s gluten-free).See? Anything can become fascinating.

Here’s to finding (and sharing) what’s fascinating in your life!

~ Sally

Find out how you fascinate

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About the author

Sally Hogshead

Sally skyrocketed to the top of the advertising world in her early 20s, fascinating millions of consumers for clients such as MINI Cooper and Coca-Cola. Since then, she’s published two New York Times bestsellers on the science of fascination, and is one of only 172 living members in the Speaker Hall of Fame. Over a million professionals have taken the Fascination Advantage® personality test to discover how others perceive their communication.

19 Comments

  1. Gillian

    A lovely poem! “Like a bloated manatee” particularly resonates.
    BTW, there are soy sauces commercially available that don’t contain gluten.
    For people who have gone completely gluten-free only to discover that they react to soy products, a few options include: organic soy sauce (because glyphosate is often used on soy, and some people are sensitive to what glyphosate does to their friendly gut bacteria), traditionally fermented soy sauce (because some people react to components in soy that are greatly reduced when soy sauce is fermented the traditional way), and, if all else fails – coconut amino sauces, which contain no gluten or soy (although they are a bit sweeter and less saltier than soy sauce.)

  2. Greg Hull

    Great stuff y’all!

    If a problem exists
    When I eat my dear gluten…
    Then I guess that Depends
    I’ll be always on-puttin’.

    Always love a good BM reference.

  3. Nick

    The gluten-free diet
    So many want to try it.
    Many can swear by it.
    The others, they lie it
    & a few should not buy it.

    A hidden demon still lies lurking
    That brings with it much pain & hurting.
    Disguised as a blessing
    For some it’s distressing.
    In many a store
    It can be a bore.
    An army it might feed
    But for some – tumbleweed.

    To heat, it spells trouble,
    And will leave you bent double.
    To your gut it’s a garrotte,
    To the loo you will trot.
    In can act pretty fast,
    Take a while to get past.

    You can’t figure out why,
    And the pain makes you cry.
    Elimination diet?
    In despair you try it.
    The Doctors best guess?
    You have IBS.

    The mystery, the toil,
    It makes your bowel boil.
    Often hiding in blend,
    It might not be your friend.
    A wolf in sheeps clothing,
    Your tummy is loathing,
    To avoid it, a problem royal,
    That Canola oil!

  4. Name (required)Barbara Reed

    As someone who has Celiac Disease, I can really relate to this! Gluten-free doesn’t have to be tasteless! I have learned how to make virtually anything gluten free and delicious. It’s not easy, but it’s possible. I’m on a mission to help others who can’t tolerate Gluten to understand this.

  5. Kim

    Thanks for the comedic humor ref gluten-free! Not an allergy for me but surely a preference. Try Trader Joe’s gluten-free bread and bagels!!! They are AMAZING!!! Best I’ve found so far and oh organic 365 has some super waffles too! I’ve recently been exploring that gluten isn’t really the culprit it’s lectins. Oh my this could be a topic for your next poem!

  6. CR

    Fun 🙂
    GF is a big change.
    I still miss gluten
    Love your stuff, including this poem 😉

  7. Alice

    Eating gluten free need not be tasteless.
    My gluten free chocolate chip cookies are par excellant. Just ask all my non gluten free customers who come back for more

  8. Nan Piland

    I can relate. Not too bad one you get used to it.
    I wish there was lactaid for gluten and not just milk…also an allergy.
    🙁

  9. Name (required)Al

    I think I fall into the non-celiac gluten sensitivity. I’ve gotten in the habit of reading labels. It’s amazing how many products have wheat in them. I skip whole aisles at the grocery store. I would call your poem an ode to “Mourning Possibilities.”

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