Do you know how the world sees you? Do people see you as engaging and motivating? Strategic and analytical? Stable and comforting? Or something else entirely?
Whichever qualities help you stand out are the key traits that make you impressive and attractive to others. But -- and you knew there was a "but" coming -- your personality has a hidden dark side.
And when that dark side does come out, watch out. Things are about to go badly.
Under stress, your positive traits can go haywire. In these moments, you're in danger of sabotaging yourself, your goals, and your reputation. We call this your Double Trouble.
Remember the Incredible Hulk? Green superhero with crazy muscles bulging through ripped purple shorts? Yeah, that guy.
You have your own inner Hulk. You might be gracious one moment, and a self-destructive monster the next, ripping apart your relationships and reputation.
Without boundaries, Innovation personalities can become too creative, flitting from one idea to the next, generating a flurry of options but never settling on a solid solution. In these situations they become The Anarchy, spinning out of control, into chaos.
Similarly, Power personalities inspire action. But when they become too emboldened, they crush teams with dictatorial arrogance.
And so it goes. Alert personalities can become so obsessed with minutia that they lose the ability to see the bigger picture. Passion personalities, who are normally warm and engaging, can embark on a downward spiral to drama-land.
We all do it. We all have an inner evil twin. And we can stop them from running our lives, and ruining our reputations.
How? Read on for three tips to avoid hitting that breaking point.
1. Beware your blind spots.
It's tricky to spot in the moment. Yet it's crucial to become aware of your own blind spots. They are damaging, but also predictable.
Your blind spot might be the off-handed comments you toss out like grenades during a meeting. Or if might be the way you turn into a control freak during chaotic situations. Or something else entirely.
2. Tread carefully.
Tread carefully in these situations, because they can damage your reputation. They're especially dangerous for leaders, as they can be a huuuuge turn-off for clients, and they can alienate your team.
Here's an example. Imagine a financial advisor. Let's call him Ben. He's stable, reliable, and dependable. That's why his clients love him.
But as the world evolves, he just can't keep up with everyone else on his team. (Poor guy.) His once-positive trait turns into a pitfall. Ben's stable dependability now has him locked in a rut. What was once a positive trait (stability) turns into a negative one: an inability to keep up with the pack.
When one of your traits starts to dominate in every realm, you're more likely to be perceived in a very negative light. Too much of a good thing becomes a major uh-oh. It's not just people like Ben. It's all of us.
3. Think ahead.
Identify how you tend to go off the rails, and make negative impressions. Keep an eye out for those circumstances that bring on what could be too-much-of-a-good-thing.
The point isn't to stop being yourself. Not at all. As leaders, we need to identify our key advantages, and maximize them.
At the same time, if you can predict the situations that cause you stress, you can keep your inner Hulk on a solid leash.
This article originally appeared on Inc.com.
HAVE YOU USED ANY OF THESE TIPS TO KEEP YOUR DOUBLE TROUBLE IN CHECK? TELL US IN THE COMMENTS BELOW!
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Indeed so true and I had it recently. But as I always reflect on my actions. I am becoming very careful. It is a big challenge. But learning is lifelong.
This is a masterpiece and one of the best articles from the HowToFascinate Team.
Thank you
I find I'm already in The Anarchy - I'm super stressed and I can FEEL the chaos and the 'butterfly mind' (as my mum calls it). It's awful! My secondary advantage is Mystique so I'm going to see if I can switch to listening more and stepping back while it all calms down.
When I was less mature, my Innovation style was definitely Double Trouble much of the time. I enjoyed shocking people and playing devil's advocate. Now that I am more mature, I usually can hold my tongue in check, although the DT monster can peek out in public from time to time. It usually shows up in my off the wall irreverent sense of humor that many people just don't get.
So true.
Mystique is my primary trait and I can feel myself turning into the Deadbolt when I am under stress or upset.
I couldn't have read this at a better time! I'm definitely having a bit of a 'Ben' moment, and both my Primary of Prestige and Secondary of Passion are going a bit into overdrive...
Love this chart! I can definitely see how it applies to me -- as well as my nearest and dearest. The challenge for me is to recognize when it's becoming a problem. "Treading carefully" for an innovative type is hard! 😉