Your personality has valuable, captivating differences. These attract people to you, and help you build relationships.
Yet we all have one fatal flaw.
When you get stressed, or tired, or out of whack, you can become exaggeratedly one-dimensional.
Your advantage becomes a disadvantage.
Rather than being seen in a positive light, you can turn people off, or push them away. I call this a “Double Trouble,” because rather than having a healthy balance, you are “doubling up” on one trait.
This causes big problems at work, and at home, often without our realizing it. It’s our personality danger zone.
The good news is, there are patterns behind our pitfalls, and once you know what they are, you can avoid turning people off. Once you know your personality’s danger zones, you can avoid those pitfalls.
Your personality normally uses two dominant qualities: Your Primary and Secondary Advantages. These two Advantages balance each other and help your Archetype communicate within a healthy range.
Your Primary Advantage + Your Secondary Advantage = Your Archetype
However, what happens when you get stressed, overwhelmed, or fearful?
Passion personalities easily make emotional connections. They build strong networks and deep relationships because their communication demonstrates their emotion for others. They have positive interactions with co‑workers, suppliers, and clients.
When emotion turns to drama
Passion makes people intimately in tune with the feelings of others. However, if you don’t blend in a secondary Advantage, your Passion personality:
- Becomes too delicate.
- Becomes overly sensitive, volatile, and vulnerable.
- Reacts hotly to the wrong glance or words.
Too much Passion in negotiations can also weaken your position. If you show disappointment or eagerness, you can quickly ruin a sale.
A one-dimensional focus on Passion can make people act like drama queens. You start wearing your heart on your sleeve too blatantly.
An example of the Drama on stage
David is appealing and friendly, and when in a good mood, the life of the party, with a personality that’s engaging and playful.
However, when stressed, he becomes moody and unpredictable, swinging between extremes. His mood drives his actions, rather than his responsibilities. People don’t know how to interact with him for fear of being caught in the vortex of ups and down. This is unappealing to customers, co-workers, and friends, and adds tension to the office.
David speaks Passion, which is the language of relationship. Yet in Double Trouble mode, he only speaks the language of theatricality. He becomes overly sensitive and irrational.
With a little clearheaded thinking, David can return to his normal balanced communication.
Dampening the emotional pendulum
When you’re stressed or anxious and find yourself communicating just one way, it’s good to remember your secondary Advantage to balance your messages:
If your Secondary Advantage is Trust, you can use it to develop a loyal team.
Be more consistent in your voice and attitude. Don’t be too swayed by the mood of the day.
If your Secondary Advantage is Mystique, use that Advantage to shade your feelings from view.
Reduce your boundless energy and take a more rational approach to choices and setbacks.
If your Secondary Advantage is Prestige, use that Advantage to emphasize your achievements.
Your Passion allows you to build quick connections with potential customers. Remember to point out the reputation of your company, and use rational as well as emotional arguments to close a deal.
If your Secondary Advantage is Power, use that Advantage to radiate authority.
The exuberance and emotion of Passion can make you unintimidating. Use Power to organize teams and to focus on goals.
If your Secondary Advantage is Alert, use that Advantage to get projects finished on time.
Don’t just rely on your “can do” attitude to get tasks completed. Try to implement a more methodical approach and be aware of potential pitfalls.
If your Secondary Advantage is Innovation, use that Advantage to channel emotion into creativity.
This will help you contribute fresh ideas and experiment with new ways of working.
Do you feel yourself slipping into the Drama when you feel stressed or overwhelmed?
What Advantage do you use to balance it out?
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Which occupation does the Intrigue typically have?
This is fantastic and timely! I have been struggling with quite a bit of stress at work and in my personal life and feel the drama taking over. I have been worried about appearing too dramatic and have been trying to figure out how to be less emotional/passionate. These tips definitely help, and I will use them to focus on my secondary trait. Thank you Sally!
How is your personality affected if you've been traumatized?
Under stress, I'm a drama queen. Emotions are harder to control even more when you are triggered by things/events/situations that remind you of the trauma. I won't go into details ... because that would be too much 'drama'.
This is an excellent question. PTSD catches us within a loop of inability to integrate trauma into our lives. And that is "dramatic" to those on the outside looking in.