As I was working on my latest book, I reflected on this sweet memory from several years ago, when I was putting the final touches to FASCINATE: How to Make Your Brand Impossible to Resist. I just had to share it with you...
This weekend I was writing the introduction for my book. I sat drinking coffee, typing on the sofa, and watching my son playing.
My son Asher is 10 years old, and he expresses himself with the fearlessness of a young boy who has not yet acquired the self-doubt of public failure. He hasn’t learned how to be boring, yet.
I know he'll probably learn soon. Or more accurately, the world will teach him.
One day he will forget the steps, or miss the ball, or flunk the test. Someone will tell him he’s not good enough or smart enough or cool enough. Too this or not enough that.
And no matter how untrue it is, no matter how much evidence there is to the contrary, he'll take his spark and hide it away in a box, high on a shelf.
Here’s what I want to tell my children, and your children, and you:
You don’t need to find the light. You are the light.
When you let your personality shine, you can light up the world.
How do you encourage your kids to shine?
Thank you Sally for your wonderful post. The other day I was talking to my friend Nancy Mae just about this topic. I said, “You know, when a baby comes into this world, their Spirit isn’t any smaller than ours. Their body is smaller, weaker and more fragile, but not their Spirit. We are all equal in the Spirit department. Our mental mind kind of gets confused with this.:) If parents’ were consciously aware of this, they would probably approach their children differently.” I love to look at people to see their own special unique light. With kids it is so rewarding because their light is so close to the surface, so pure and so fun! Your daughter is a lucky little girl to have a mom that sees her light, and most certainly will help her shine it upon all us lucky little souls. Blessings Francesca oh!
i just told a client last nite who is reticent to "promote" herself and doesn't want to be in the limelight: "When the light finds you, stand in it and shine! Don't hide in the shadows!" it rattled her perspective. when i was a child, my mother always told me i had amazing talent and charisma. i received training in all aspects of performing arts at places like Juilliard, including many elite youth theatre, dance and singing opportunities (i sang at Carnegie Hall twice!), and a BFA in theatre. meanwhile, my dad kept telling me to "tone it down" and not be so "loud" or "big", etc. my entire life i keep hearing these opposite messages from pastors, friends, teachers, colleagues and my spouse (now-ex). so when i had kids, i identified their gifts, nurtured their gifts and exposed them to the experiences that would encourage and train those gifts. now they're 28, 25 and 18. they are confident, caring, capable adults pursuing what they love and are passionate about. i still have to deal with the naysayers who still tell me to "tone it down" and "don't shine so bright." it's the single most difficult thing i have to deal with. and i battle with it almost every day.but i prevail! 🙂
Great post and something I fear everyday as my 4 year old grows up. How can I teach her to be strong and believe in herself? I try to do this by praising her effort not the outcome (useful advice from a parenting mag), encourage her to try new things, and that she can play what she wants - she doesn't always have to play what the other kids play. I too believe that your gut tells you a lot and I want to teach her to believe and listen to it. Letting her know that having emotions is ok...if you are angry then be angry but just don't be mean in the process. Feeling emotions is good just know how to deal with them and let go when you need to. Humility is a great thing but is sometimes very hard to be the one that backs down and compromises but sometimes it is what is needed. I have learned a lot from the comments posted - thank you all!
I have a five year old and the most important thing to me as her mom is to love and empower her shine. To give her messages daily about her amazing strength, her heart, and her wisdom and not to be afraid of them and not to hide them. I have a deep passion to empower girls and cofounded the brilliant, beautiful and bold movement because they do need to shine their light and not apologize for it! Thanks for the work you do!
I tell my boys (25, 22, and 12) that they were uniquely designed to do the special things that they are doing...in ways that only they can do them. We go back and forth highlighting their experiences, opportunities, and impact on the world. They proudly stick out their chests and move forward with renewed energy and a sense of purpose each and every time.
I always tell my girls (15 and 17) they are cherished. I encourage them to walk in such a way that others around them recognize how cherished they are. Always respect yourself and others!
Thanks for the beautiful post. When my son was very young and I would send him off to school I would say to him "I believe something wonderful is going to happen to you today" and he would say the same back to me. He is now 31 and is a PHD student far away from me. When he writes me emails or ends phone calls, we still say that to each other...
I observe my daughters and give them attention. Cheering them on, being their fan (and tough coach), hoping to give them confidence while they are small, so that storms will not blow out their candle when they grow up.
Let their dreams soar, be amazed by their discoveries, listen to their concerns, nurture their inner self. And take a seat in the rear of the family life car. After all, I am the grandfather
My daughter is 32, and she is amazing. I tried to talk to her as an adult most of her life. I let her make decisions and I gave her as much responsibility for her life as I could. Although she did not get a driver's license until she was 21, last year she packed up her stuff, rented a truck, hitched her car on the towbar and drove across country to a new life, trusting that she would find a job and a place to live. She has done both and is amking it on her own, doing work she loves and building her portfolio. My job here is done.