A personal note from Sally...
September was a brutal month. Probably the worst of my life. Truth be told... since then, I’ve felt kinda anxious and sad. I can’t seem to get my creative groove back.
(It’s tough to inspire YOU when I can’t even inspire myself.)
Ever felt this way? It’s not like “feeling blue." More like feeling a very, very dark shade of navy.
I know I'll get back to my own passionately creative, curiously weird, imperfect and fascinating life. I don't know exactly how. At least, not yet.
So I wrote a letter to myself.
Over the next three months, I'm going to explore what it means to live a fascinating, passionate, creative life. This letter is a start.
What does it mean to live a fascinating life?
Too often in life, we measure our lives according to the big and grand.
The occasions, the landmarks.
Victories and promotions.
Championships and graduations.
The big life moments circled in red on the calendar.
And yes, these are very big moments.
But if we measure our lives by BIG events, our time only leapfrogs from one appointment to the next.
We spend our lives waiting for what happens next, instead of what happens now.
If we only focus on being “the best,” we’re measuring ourselves by someone else’s rules.
If we only focus on improving, it means the way we are is just not enough.
Savor the breakthroughs and triumphs. Yet remember that these moments are too few, too far between, and often, too far outside our control.
For every winner, there are a thousand others.
For every second accepting an award at a podium, there are years of struggle.
For every success, there are a hundred failures.
We can't always choose the big moments. But fascinating moments are available anytime, anywhere, to anyone.
Real life is a glorious, painful, and absurdly difficult but infinitely rewarding work in progress.
Live in verbs.
Criticize cautiously.
Kiss impetuously.
Fill your bookshelves and social circle with an eclectic collection.
Refuse to drink from the mainstream.
Fall madly, wildly, head-over-heels in love with tiny little moments.
If the glass is half full, just pour it into a smaller glass and—presto!— your glass is full.
Life isn’t meant to be tolerated. It’s meant to be savored, devoured, marrow sucked and lips smacked.
Years from now, when we’re older and wiser and reflecting upon our lives, may no part remain unlived, no opportunity squandered, no talent wasted, no aspiration unfulfilled.
That's what I believe is a fascinating life. How about you?
What do YOU think it means to live a fascinating life? I want to hear from you and learn from you.
Tell me your idea of a fascinating life in the comments, below.
COMPREHENSIVE WISDOM SOLUTIONS
1/18/19
I have thought about my response overnight and have decided to go forward with my guidance.
I am the least Fascinating of your Disciples.... just boring.. I am okay with that.
I have been blessed in my life with all the toys and accolades. Then came the economic bust of 2007-2008. That really took its toll on my Real Estate Industry.
Fortunately, beginning in 1997, I had begun my "walk" and awakening. This study and appreciation has carried me through to this moment. There are still highs and lows in life but, the coping blessings of the Good Lord all get me through "The Dark Navy Blue".
A good starting point might be a study of The Attributes of God, a reading of The God You May Not Know by Dr. David Jerimyia and the building of relations with the Almighty.
Yes, I went Christian / Religious on you but, so did Diane and some others. I tell you it works!!!
This is the day, the present, that God has made. See the Joy in it. Happy weekend.
Len Hoshall
St. Simons Island, Georgia
Sally thanks for sharing. It is much easier just saying it than actually doing, but yes, we have all had our navy days or even months more than once. Reconnecting with one-self is harder than we can think. I try to keep it simple and find a mantra that helps me remember all we have lived and all still ahead of us, all we love and how blessed I am in those aspects that really matter.
It's definitely the little moments that count. As the saying goes.. "Happiness is the journey, not the destination".
Sally,
Thank you for sharing. Your words ring all to familiar to me. Since my messy breakup last year I have not been able to find peace with anything in my life. And even more so I have not been able to forgive myself or even create the space to allow me to like myself. I try to take this one day at a time but I have almost two years of very negative self talk to make up for. Fascinating is one of the main tools I am using to find myself again, to discover who I am, my values and who I want to be in this world. I love the adage "You cant rush something you want to last forever". My life right now is really all about taking the bad with the good and allowing myself to feel whatever way I need to feel in any given moment. Tapping into my strengths not only boost my morale but also gives me direction.
Cheers,
Jaclyn
The near future...
I walk through the empty house. It's still beautiful to me; large, comfortable, welcoming even in its emptiness. A big stage for a big family, noisy dinners, tablets competing with televisions, voices raised in conversation or contention, fireplace crackling with cheery flames on cold evenings.
A lifetime goal.
But a past lifetime.
Today, I need smaller. Less. I've sold or given away everything but "the essentials"- mine would not be yours, but include clothes, tools, a few kitchen items, and one long table of computers and prototyping tools. My past life included lots of people; my new life is going to be starting to explore someone I scarcely know- myself.
I've sort of lost touch with the guy. Life is often too busy, and too loud, to cope with anything more than the moment
My new home, in its entirety, is barely larger than the bedroom and bath I'm standing in. That's not financial restraints, it's to prevent me from adding more "things" to my life. It's easy to confuse your needs with your wants; I'm trying to prevent that.
Don't get me wrong; I'm not planning monkhood. I'll still bingewatch Netflix. spend too much time on Facebook, text with my friends, yak on the phone for hours, read ten books a week, attempt to date suggestible ladies.
But the guy I was, in the wayback, had dreams and ideas that couldn't be built. The technology simply wasn't there.
Now I think it is. Looking forward to finding out.
My steps echo as I walk to the door. I look around one more time, picturing the family that might one day fill this house with complicated life.
The door clicks gently behind me, and I step into whatever tomorrow holds.
Sally, when I need to get back to myself, I do a few different things.
For me however, the main thing is to be still. In nature, if possible. Once on the Big Island we were camping. The first morning I took my yoga mat, put it on the beach, sat down and Wow! As I sat there in stillness, no one but me (for humans) around, life and activity unfolded around me. A little bird flew down and started to peck away at some coconut left inside a shell. The sun rose further into the sky and the shadows changed. The gentle waves came in and created patterns on the sand. I watched. And noticed. And became so calm... can you relate? Stuff like this helps me. Maybe it will for you, too! Take good care of you - you are so valuable to so many!!! Be well. Judy
Sally,
I think I understand how you feel because I went through a period of being face-down, depressed,burned-out and a loss of self-confidence. Climbing out was hard and I couldn't have done it without developing an empowering relationship with Christ.
We are all designed to be known,understood and loved and once we receive this we are then equipped to give it back out.We all have wounds and need healing. The world and a lot of people in it tell us we are supposed to compete, compare and perform against one another.
This leaves us empty,shallow and lonely only to darken our heart. It's taken me a very long-time to figure out that we all want three things
Peace
Joy
Contentment
This is ultimate happiness and the more capacity we have to love and serve others the more we'll be happy.
Sally, you have been very inspiring to me over the years.
I'll pray for a break through and when you get it call me I'm writing a talk and would love your help
YOU TRULY FASCINATE AND WILL CONTINUE TO, YOU COULD BE IN A SEASON OF RADICAL TRANSFORMATION AND POSSIBLY RE-INVENTING YOURSELF.
TAKE CARE
Sally, thank you for sharing with all of us what is going on with you. You said just what I needed to hear today. I have spent the last few years doing what I believed I should be doing, only to realize each time that I was not following my passions, nor was I being true to how I fascinate. With the beginning of this year, I am changing direction and following my path. I know it will take time, and certainly there will be obstacles as well as triumphs, but that is what makes each and every part of it alive. I feel grounded and excited, and am acknowledging how the simpler I keep things, the better the results. It's a a great feeling.
I look forward to reading all of your wonderful insights you share as you continue to move forward.
Sally, it's so incredibly humble and authentic of you to write about this phase of "not so fascinating" life. A tough 2 years starting a new business pushed me mentally to the edge, there was no time for 'me' and the multitude of commitments as a small business owner really got me down, not to mention the financial pressures and uncertainty - am I doing it right!
Finding time out and simplifying everything in my life was my answer. Simplifying my life meant, focus on one thing only, reach deeply, trust myself, trust my journey and stick with it. It meant assessing everything in terms of the added pressure to me, I eliminated many activities and commitments that were really not returning benefit and focussed on the one thing I believed in and knew I could make a difference in.
A Xmas trip to Bali (Ubud) to experience the beauty and simplicity of life lived by the Balinese reinforced these principles. We are far too busy today, too busy for one another, and too busy for ourselves. Simplifying our lives materially and commitment-wise has a lot to be said for itself.
May your life return to simply fascinating 😉
Sally. I can relate to your post. For me, two fire evacuations, three hospitalizations, three deaths close to me.
What I’ve learned is “not” to “attach” to “home being a building.” I learned to center myself and be “home within myself” whether couch surfing, sleeping overnight way too many nights in my van on cold winter nights, endless hotel rooms and even hospital beds. I learned to be grateful and treasure any help I get and hot and to surrender to the fact this was not my best year for “rescuing others.” It was supposed to be my year to launch Crisis Coaching. Instead I got a reluctantly accepted amazing training year in disaster relief / crisis services to learn what worked well and where were / are the breakdowns. I knew I would be preparing a presentation for Congress about creating transparency and less redundancy in paperwork around aging parent healthcare crisis ; I didn’t know it would likely have a Part II about similar issues that are a problem in disaster relief services. We also need more transparency before a crisis lands so we Americans know how to plan for gaps in services.
I’ve sure visited my dark hours of dispair and wondering how I would ever get back to my “old life and normal.” I’ve come to realize this is “all normal- this is my life..crazy roller coaster, crisis one after another, people who promise to be there if something happens (who ghost you when it does) and strangers or others you would least expect to help who step in to help.)
I’ve learned my spiritual beliefs / system protected me spiritually from not letting these back to back experiences swallow me and spit me out, and my Landmark Education courses training from the 1990’s when I did Landmark - those techniques helped me reinvent myself and micro-purposes each days. I was able to be a stand for others to “see themselves as a possibility” and kick despair in the face - after watching their home burn on local TV news, and /or lose most everything they had.
I learned from an 8- year -old girl from Libya at the Red Cross shelter who was drawing and coloring in front of me at a dining table, ( she was in the car with her dad when a burning bridge narrowly missed their car when it fell) that “it’s important to draw and color rainbows because rainbows chase away gray clouds.”
Life is messy. If you can learn how to dust yourself off when the unexpected happens, you can find a higher purpose when your life takes you into a crisis experience. The crisis doesn’t have to define you.
And no matter how bad it hurts and feels for you, you can always find someone else having a harder struggle.
Today I walk, can breathe fairly clean air again, have a temporary but more stable roof over my head, and have a decent small bed to sleep in. I’m warm enough at night... in two crisis after days that wasn’t always the case. I will find my way back to my professional work and bill rate or more. Today, I’m just grateful for what I have. That brings me peace.
A fascinating life is noticing all of life as it happens... every little piece of it. I'm in the "spiritual space" and sometimes it seems like spiritual people "should" manifest all their desires, be devoid of pain and struggle, and always be happy. But the truth for me as I grow older is to soak in the wisdom that the ancient sages knew intimately: To be divine, we must possess it all... the capacity for sadness and for joy, feeling numb, and for feeling totally alive and exhilarated. Otherwise, we are half human. A fascinating life for me these days is to feel into the sadness or anything else that is present and let it be held in my heart space... which I can actually feel as an ever-expanding field of love and possibility. That sadness gets to be what it is right now while being respected and included. In that way, I am fascinated to watch all the capacities I have as a human as they come forward. No judgements. No expectations. Just feeling them sweetly held in a fascinating Heart of divine acceptance. They can rest there and teach me, replenish me, or work any other magic on me. And I am more alive, more complete, and more fascinating than ever before.