You don’t learn how to be fascinating.
You unlearn boring.
Do you remember yourself as a kid? Before you learned how to be boring?
My son Asher is eleven years old, and he expresses himself with the fearlessness of a young boy who has not yet acquired the self-doubt of public failure. He hasn’t learned boring, yet. I know he’ll probably learn soon. Or more accurately, the world will teach him.
One day he will forget the steps, or miss the ball, or flunk the test. Someone will tell him he’s not good enough or smart enough or cool enough, too this or not enough that. And no matter how untrue it is, no matter how much evidence there is to the contrary, he’ll take a little piece of his personality and hide it away in a box.
Here’s what I want to tell my children, and yours, and you:
You don’t need to find the light. You are the light.
Over the past decade, I’ve seen how crucial it is to know and understand the most fascinating parts of yourself. To see the best of how the world sees you. Once you know why people hire you and promote you and champion for you and fall in love with you, it becomes easy to be yourself.
You don’t need to “fix” anything about yourself.
You don’t need to change.
Just do more of what you’re already doing right.
Start to notice the ways in which you shut yourself down (maybe without even realizing it). Start to see how insecurities get in the way of making a difference in the world.
Unlearn boring, and instead, learn to see the best of how the world sees you.
Do you have a team member who struggles with self-confidence? Share this post with them. Tell them what you think is most extraordinary about them. Show them they’re already doing right, so they can do more of it.
TELL US IN THE COMMENTS: What’s one specific quality in you that has gotten lost over the years? (Your sense of humor? Your creativity? Your sincerity?) Share in the comments, below.
[…] so many things. You literally can’t afford to be boring. Sally Hogshead talks about the idea of unlearning boring. We learn to be boring as a way to play it safe. We all have things that make us unique and […]
I've lost my sense of whimsy. I often catch myself fondly remembering my easy going nature as a young man. I don't know when everything became so serious in my life, because not everything needs to be serious. Thanks for the reminder.
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