Want to fascinate? Unlearn boring.

You don’t learn how to be fascinating.

You unlearn boring.

Do you remember yourself as a kid? Before you learned how to be boring?

My son Asher is eleven years old, and he expresses himself with the fearlessness of a young boy who has not yet acquired the self-doubt of public failure. He hasn’t learned boring, yet. I know he’ll probably learn soon. Or more accurately, the world will teach him.

One day he will forget the steps, or miss the ball, or flunk the test. Someone will tell him he’s not good enough or smart enough or cool enough, too this or not enough that. And no matter how untrue it is, no matter how much evidence there is to the contrary, he’ll take a little piece of his personality and hide it away in a box.

Here’s what I want to tell my children, and yours, and you:

You don’t need to find the light. You are the light.

You Are the Light Sally Hogshead

Over the past decade, I’ve seen how crucial it is to know and understand the most fascinating parts of yourself. To see the best of how the world sees you. Once you know why people hire you and promote you and champion for you and fall in love with you, it becomes easy to be yourself.

You don’t need to “fix” anything about yourself.

You don’t need to change.

Just do more of what you’re already doing right.

Start to notice the ways in which you shut yourself down (maybe without even realizing it). Start to see how insecurities get in the way of making a difference in the world.

Unlearn boring, and instead, learn to see the best of how the world sees you.

Do you have a team member who struggles with self-confidence? Share this post with them. Tell them what you think is most extraordinary about them. Show them they’re already doing right, so they can do more of it.


TELL US IN THE COMMENTS: What’s one specific quality in you that has gotten lost over the years? (Your sense of humor? Your creativity?  Your sincerity?) Share in the comments, below.


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About the author

Sally Hogshead

Sally skyrocketed to the top of the advertising world in her early 20s, fascinating millions of consumers for clients such as MINI Cooper and Coca-Cola. Since then, she’s published two New York Times bestsellers on the science of fascination, and is one of only 172 living members in the Speaker Hall of Fame. Over a million professionals have taken the Fascination Advantage® personality test to discover how others perceive their communication.

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