Want to fascinate? Unlearn boring.

You don’t learn how to be fascinating.

You unlearn boring.

Do you remember yourself as a kid? Before you learned how to be boring?

My son Asher is eleven years old, and he expresses himself with the fearlessness of a young boy who has not yet acquired the self-doubt of public failure. He hasn’t learned boring, yet. I know he’ll probably learn soon. Or more accurately, the world will teach him.

One day he will forget the steps, or miss the ball, or flunk the test. Someone will tell him he’s not good enough or smart enough or cool enough, too this or not enough that. And no matter how untrue it is, no matter how much evidence there is to the contrary, he’ll take a little piece of his personality and hide it away in a box.

Here’s what I want to tell my children, and yours, and you:

You don’t need to find the light. You are the light.

You Are the Light Sally Hogshead

Over the past decade, I’ve seen how crucial it is to know and understand the most fascinating parts of yourself. To see the best of how the world sees you. Once you know why people hire you and promote you and champion for you and fall in love with you, it becomes easy to be yourself.

You don’t need to “fix” anything about yourself.

You don’t need to change.

Just do more of what you’re already doing right.

Start to notice the ways in which you shut yourself down (maybe without even realizing it). Start to see how insecurities get in the way of making a difference in the world.

Unlearn boring, and instead, learn to see the best of how the world sees you.

Do you have a team member who struggles with self-confidence? Share this post with them. Tell them what you think is most extraordinary about them. Show them they’re already doing right, so they can do more of it.


TELL US IN THE COMMENTS: What’s one specific quality in you that has gotten lost over the years? (Your sense of humor? Your creativity?  Your sincerity?) Share in the comments, below.


Don’t miss a single fascinating tip!

Sign up to receive updates on our latest blog posts, offers, and more.

Blog post email and popup form

This field is for validation purposes and should be left unchanged.

About the author

Sally Hogshead

Sally skyrocketed to the top of the advertising world in her early 20s, fascinating millions of consumers for clients such as MINI Cooper and Coca-Cola. Since then, she’s published two New York Times bestsellers on the science of fascination, and is one of only 172 living members in the Speaker Hall of Fame. Over a million professionals have taken the Fascination Advantage® personality test to discover how others perceive their communication.

Recent Posts
Are you motivated by enthusiasm and praise?  Or are you motivated by the threat of negative consequences? In other words… carrot, or stick?   (Me, I’m a carrot person.) People respond in very individual ways to...

The Fascination Archetypes in The Holiday - A collage featuring character traits and scenes from the movie, including Cameron Diaz, Kate Winslet, Jude Law, and Jack Black.
An international house swap over the holidays, unlikely romances, a heartwarming friendship with a wise neighbor, and so much more! It’s The Holiday—the coziest, most feel-good Christmas movie that somehow makes personal growth look as...

Colorful gift boxes arranged on a white wooden background with text that reads 'The 2024 Fascinating Holiday Gift Guide.'
Holiday shopping can be stressful.  Finding the perfect gift for someone who seems to have it all?  Even harder. But what if you could shop based on their personality—giving a gift that celebrates their distinct...

We all know the story: Ebenezer Scrooge is visited by the Ghosts of Christmas Past, Present, and Yet to Come, who guide him through a journey of transformation. But what if these Ghosts came to...

Related Posts

You’ve probably seen that bright green album cover everywhere by now. Maybe you’ve heard your kids blasting the tracks, or you’ve had the song “360” on repeat the entire summer because, let’s be real, it’s...

Crafting messages that captivate and engage doesn’t have to be complicated. When you understand your primary Fascination Advantage, you can tailor your communication to reflect your natural abilities. Each Advantage offers a unique approach to...

Send this to a friend