A quick introduction from Sally:
A while back, a young woman walked into our office for a job interview. She wasn’t outgoing and bubbly. In fact, she almost didn’t make eye contact with me. She was cautious and private.
Yet while she wasn’t outgoing and bubbly, her hidden brilliance shone through. She listened carefully. She answered questions simply and insightfully (reflecting the prep work she’d done about the company).
This young lady is different than anyone on our team. Yet she’s treasured not in spite of her differences, but specifically because of them.
(Do you have an introvert on your team? Pass this post on to them.)
Personalities who have Mystique, Alert, or Trust as their Primary personality Advantage are often self-described introverts. They’re the ones who listen before speaking. The ones who put substance before style. We need them, because they see all the details we’d otherwise miss.
In this unusually revealing story, she shows us what it’s like inside the mind and heart of an introvert. And, she describes how she overcame that feeling to tap into her most valuable self.
I want to thank her for helping me see how an introvert can feel more fascinating.
Here's her story...
“Be like everyone else, or you’ll never be anything.”
That’s the line I bought into for the first half of my life. Growing up I always felt like something was missing. Why did making an emotional connection come so easily for others, and was such a struggle for me? Being an analytical thinker I decided to make a list of my personality traits. And you know what?
The more I wrote them down, the worse I felt.
The list included things such as: quiet, thoughtful, careful. Those descriptions didn’t seem that bad at first – until I compared them to every job listing I sent in my resume for. It seemed like every company was looking for an “out-of-the-box thinker” or a “passionate people person.” And those things just weren’t me.
Every personality assessment told me what I already knew.
I tried to figure out what the true difference was between being an extrovert and an introvert.
I took assessment after assessment to figure out something new about myself. All I learned was what I already knew. I was an introvert. I have trouble with small talk. I don’t connect quickly with others. I wasn’t a good fit for any of the jobs I was interested in.
Every assessment, every awkward party, every uncomfortable interview reinforced the same conclusion: If I didn’t learn how to be like everyone else, I would never be anything.
Until I learned how the world sees me.
That’s when I stumbled across a job application for Fascinate. I wasn’t sure how far I would get in the interview process but I decided to give it a try.
Then I saw the first requirement to apply: taking the Fascinate Test.
Immediately I was filled with panic. Great. Another personality assessment, and it’s going to tell me the same thing every other test has. It’s going to tell me my personality isn’t what they’re looking for.
But something different happened. I didn’t get a generic “You are an introvert,” cookie-cutter response. It didn’t tell me I was an “INTJ.” It told me I was The Detective. It told me how the world sees me.
The Detective.
After taking the Fascinate Test, I was amazed at how much thought had gone into the report. And I was amazed that there were 41 other personality profiles that had just as much thought put into them. But most importantly, it told me that I had a unique set of skills that were a core differentiator above my competition.
I spent a long time poring over the information. Finally, I had found an assessment that didn’t just tell me what I was. It told me how I could be valuable to those around me. I wasn’t being told to be like everyone else.
I learned that I had distinct advantages that I could bring to a team - to a company. My analytical thinking and calm demeanor could be an essential asset to the personalities that I had always tried to mimic. A balance. And when I went to my interview, I learned that my top two Advantages had been specifically requested for the position I was applying for.
Alert is the language of details.
Mystique is the language of listening.
So what does it all mean?
It means that there isn’t one Advantage that’s better than the others (like we’ve always been led to believe). But there are some that are better for you.
Unlock these Advantages, and you’ll become the most valuable you.
Don’t let other people put you inside a “one size fits all” box. Your personality is custom crafted to deliver maximum value.
You just have to be willing to discover what those differences are.
~ A quiet member of Team Fascinate
I'm the same, I work with lots of people and I have found that you can only take so much responsibility of someone else's situation, then it's up to them. I am in a service type of career, not selling a product and it's me they buy. If you give more from your heart & head than you do for receiving their money they detect it
and you'll be appreciated. That's all I'd say, and that I've never written anything like this to anyone, hoping, it helps, balance you out... I find it all fascinating !
Rita and Cara, I'd be curious as to which fascination archetypes fit you well. I'm also an INFJ and have had similar experiences.
do you know you've been hacked? I got a spam e-mail today from your feed. I'll be glad to share it with you so you can find the spammer if you'd like - sorry to post this way, but have no other way to find you!
I read this article and there some interview experience shared here and some points about some fascinate nature while facing some interview. I will going to give an interview in next week for my job and dressing is also as important as our nature you have described here.
I'm an introvert. Took me most of a career and over 60 years to come right out with it. The reason? Because of "professional pressure." I worked in chamber of commerce management -- that "cheer-leading, back-slapping, speechifying, plaque-presenting, photos-with-the mayor-governor-new-employer CEO", and in earlier years, "big cigar, martinis for lunch red-plaid jacket, no-mystery-about-how-and-why-our-town-is-the-greatest" extrovert breeding ground if ever there was one. I had worked in this environment in mostly my own way for over 12 years, and was given the opportunity to participate in an intensive CEO immersion "boot camp." It was a week-long program at the U of Notre Dame, led by some outstanding faculty and professional instructors . Preliminary study and thesis writing was required and judged. Pass/fail wouldn't have meant much, although one wouldn't want to be embarrassed among one's 30+/- peers by not being invited back for Year 2 and Year 3. In preparation for Year 1, we took Myers Briggs. It told me I was an introvert. I didn't want to be one. At the end of year 1, we were told "Here are your heads. Take them home and get them screwed on right before you return for Year 2. I tried . I fought it tooth and nail. Be an extrovert. Fill the bill. Local board members never got directly into the act, but in many ways, allowed as how more could be done "with and for the members", My translation? Bond. Relationships, Small talk. Learn golf. My nightmares of confrontations over these activities never materialized. Neither did they cease. Except in retirement a few years back. Teach and consult well, Fascinator. Maybe others will be spared!!
Well written, filled with insight about me. I have always been the Purple Cow, different from everyone else. My 2014 word was Blooming. Peeling away my protective layers to create an abundant life. I have done that by stepping into my power and understanding that being me, matters. Thank you for your great blog! Wishing you the best! Jill Stodola
What I love about the way you approach things is that you make people realize the positive in every personality that exists! There is no trait that is right or wrong to succeed, it is being yourself that is the answer, and truly coming from a pure and genuine heart. You show how all of us are perfect as we are and how our strengths are needed as much as anothers...because the truth is, a balanced team will bring success, not everyone being good at the exact same thing. 🙂 Different thoughts and different strengths bring different views on the same picture and therefore a greater viewpoint! Most of all though, I love that you only show the positive in every one of us and how embracing that positive can only make us stronger and more successful. It fits with the message I am so passionate about sharing on my own website... the importance of being true to yourself always and believing in yourself as you would your own best friend. Don't judge or stereotype others based on looks etc., it's who you are in your heart that matters. We are all beautiful and all have a purpose that can make a positive difference if we choose to try. You encourage people to follow their hearts and love their strengths, so they can make a positive difference with confidence. Thank you for that. Great approach! 🙂
Thanks you so much for sharing your thoughts and I totally know where you are coming from. I was also starting to despair that I never seem to have the qualities that employers are looking for and even worse, I had reached the stage where I was starting to think that all the qualities that me me unique were 'bad'. Well, according to the job market they certainly are but once I found out I was the Royal Guard I suddenly realised that these self-same qualities that I had been thinking of as unfavourable actually make me really specially and I needed to embrace them. So thank you fir sharing your story and to Sally for Fascinate.
I am the secret weapon. I was nothing more than a shy introvert till mid 2014 until I came across 'fascinate'. Now I am damn confident and I fascinate people just by being quiet. Being an introvert commands instant attention. Be proud of it my friends. And I send my soulful gratitude to Sally Hogshead and fascinate Inc. for making me the person I am. ??????
Oh how I can relate to your experience. Being legally blind for the past 35 years I know what it feels like to not seem like I fit in. I barely made it out of high school, failed out of college, and watched my self esteem tank. Luckily someone believed in me and say how the world sees me and offered me a job selling motorcycles. By the age of 27 I became the VP and part owner of the dealership. Like you I have also done assessments, seminars, and still find myself struggling over and over. Knowing I am the Maverick and how I can best serve is awesome. I am excited to be a part of the group and to continue to learn how to live out of the place of where I am at my best.